Don't Tread on Anyone Long Sleeve

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Do you believe all people are equal and should be treated accordingly? Do you believe no one has the authority to dictate how you spend your short time on this beautiful blue marble? Congratulations! You are a dangerous extremist, with a pernicious respect for human life that must be stamped out at all costs.

Maybe one day you’ll come to reason and realize how dearly the world needs a cabal of isolated, ultrarich autocrats who call all the shots. But until that day comes, you’ll continue to preach the virtues of just letting people be. That means you’ll support reprehensible pie-in-the-sky causes such as permitting people to leave their homes despite the media’s valiant attempts at fear mongering, love other people even if they share similar body parts to their own, and own psychoactive plants without fear of getting locked in a giant cage full of murderers. Who knows? You may even advocate in favor of the United States government obeying its own Constitution. Frankly, there’s nothing a loony like you could do that would surprise us.

Don’t worry. We’re currently transmitting your ISP address to the NSA so they can send a Northrop Grumman BG-7 “Reeducator” drone to your doorstep. But in the meantime, why not make your menacing tolerance more apparent to others by ordering our Don't Tread on Anyone merchandise? It features the porcupine, a loathsome beast that is perfectly happy to mind its own business until something tries to kill it.