2nd Amendment Hoodies
Hello, aspiring tyrant! We know you’re out there, and we know how hard you have it. You’ve had your eye on this big, beautiful country for quite some time now. You have a plan to subvert democracy all laid out, you’ve already placed a few mobs of your more violent supporters here and there, and your special task force is ready and standing by with that false flag you ordered. But you still have one eensy, weensy problem. People with guns can still fight you.
It must be very distressing for you, knowing that any house could contain a tool for dismantling your regime. It’s ruining all of your plans. You try getting it off your mind by going to the bar and picking up a date for the evening (hopefully not a foreign spy again), but when you get there you see a Libertas Bella shopper looking all cool and confident. They’re easily one of the top five most attractive people you’ve ever seen, and they smell nice. And they are wearing a pro gun hoodie, which angers you.
You walk up to that fashionable Libertas Bella shopper to give them a piece of your mind. You rehearse all your best anti-gun arguments in your head: they cause violence, you don’t need them, the police will protect you.
But then you get closer and see the offending 2nd Amendment hoodie in full detail. You notice how finely its cotton and polyester fibers are woven together. You admire its tasteful graphics, a heartfelt ode to its wearer’s ideals. And something stirs inside you.
No longer angry, you are entranced as you approach the Libertas Bella shopper. Your voice cracks as you ask them: “Does that gun hoodie have a sewn-in label?” The kindly Libertas Bella shopper smiles at you and nods.
Now you are in tears. This beautiful, high quality 2nd Amendment hoodie has finally made you realize the errors of your ways. For all the trouble an armed citizenry would give you, you just wouldn’t want to live in a world where people can’t wear amazing pro gun hoodies.
So you give up on your ambitions of dictatorship, resign from the vice presidency, and take up golf.