The ZeroHedge Collection
ZeroHedge isn’t the kind of website you go to for bubbly, unsubstantial feel-good news. A news source which reminds you that you’re going to die right in its motto simply doesn’t exist to print stories like “Local Girl Sets Up Cat Rescue in Parents’ Garage” or “120 Year Old Great-Great-Grandmother Tries Mai Tais for First Time.”
You could argue that ZeroHedge publishes plenty of feel-bad stories. Take their January 21, 2022 headline, for example: Hong Kong Executes Thousands of Pet Hamsters Over COVID Hysteria. Those poor hamsters. And you just know the Chinese Communist Party only did it so they could harvest those cute little hamsters' tiny little organs for sale on the black market. (We heard through the grapevine that George Soros’s personal hamster currently has three hearts and an unspecified number of spleens.)
But do you know what separates a thinker from a dullard? The thinker seeks out information that they would rather not be true – and which the people calling the shots would rather not be made public. You visit ZeroHedge precisely because it makes your teeth itch, and because you’re sick of watching overly coiffed pantsuited puppets bleating pre-approved talking points on the tee-vee.
ZeroHedge’s commitment to spreading the truth, however ugly it might be, puts them in a tenuous position. Merrill Lynch and Taco Bell aren’t going to pay to plaster their logos next to stories enumerating all the reasons why the whole world is going to hell, which is why ZeroHedge relies more heavily on their readers’ support than most other news sources.
Here’s your opportunity to help keep ZeroHedge’s lights on. Order any of this fine merchandise and you’ll not only look cool and approachable to attractive members of whichever gender you’re attracted to. You’ll keep real journalism alive when the powers that be are trying to rip out its life support like they’re starting a lawnmower.