If Jesus Didn’t Want Us to Be Armed… Front & Back Hoodie Sweatshirt

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Are we actually claiming Jesus invented guns?

Indirectly.

You see, God once invented something even better than guns: the entirety of all creation. That included mankind, which, in true mankind fashion, managed to botch things with God almost instantly.

Was getting banished from paradise a good move on man’s part? Arguably not. But at least we have the consolation of knowing we’d never have invented guns if we’d stayed in Eden. It’s just not the sort of thing it occurs to you to invent when you’re surrounded by fruit and pettable tigers and woman clothed in leaf.

Hold on. Do the math. God invents man. Man invents gun. Good God, man, do you realize what that means? It means God … invented gun.

So when the Democrats cry that your AR-15 is bad and you shouldn’t have it, it’s kind of the same thing as saying Jesus was wrong.

Really jogs the old noggin.

Here’s a radical opinion for you: Your AR-15 is good. An everyman owning the same tool that bullies would use to bully him? It’s the truest symbol of freedom there ever was. No wonder why bullies hate it.

Do you know who does want you to have an AR-15? That’s right. The only one who gets capitalized pronouns, because He’s just that special. I’m talking about Jesus: the OG gunsmith, who’s probably up in Heaven teaching Eugene Stoner how to design a better direct impingement system right now.

It’s a good thing you have one, then. And it’s even better that you found our tasteful T-shirt dedicated to the insane line of reasoning I just subjected you to. It’s inspired by a page I ripped out of my daughter’s Sunday school coloring book.

If “God” and “Jesus” aren’t synonymous to you, then goodness gracious have you ever located the wrong garment … unless you’re looking for a lovely gift for your Christian firearm enthusiast friend, that is. Don’t give him oven mitts for his birthday again this year. Give the gift of garment.

EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, [email protected], 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY

Product information: Gildan 18500, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC

Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Made in Bangladesh

Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: medium, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean