Zero Hedge Futurewave Tyler Durden Bottle
Zero Hedge Futurewave Tyler Durden Bottle
Zero Hedge Futurewave Tyler Durden Bottle
Zero Hedge Futurewave Tyler Durden Bottle

Zero Hedge Futurewave Tyler Durden Bottle

  • $34.95
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We love the Futurewave aesthetic. If we see art that wouldn’t look appropriate on the cover of a Japanese alt rock album from the early ‘90s, we don’t like it. We dream of a world where everything is Greek busts, liquid chrome splatters, magenta polygons and pink and blue operating system logos. We want to install neon lights on our Toyota Celica and drive past palm trees while blasting heavily distorted music from the Home Shopping Network’s short-lived Spree channel.
 
We love very few things as much as we love Futurewave. These include rum, pie, puppies, and of course Zero Hedge, which publishes news articles that make MSM propagandists foam at the mouths. That’s why we sat everyone down in the Libertas Bella boardroom and asked our team one question: “Who has been stealing Janice’s lunches out of the breakroom fridge?” Once Dave fessed up to it, we made him design the Zero Hedge Futurewave Tyler Durden line of merchandise line as his punishment.
 
Here you see Zero Hedge’s de facto mascot, a symbol of anarchism and self-dependence and severe mental illness, reimagined in the Futurewave motif. It’s truly the best of both worlds, and when you flaunt this extravagantly designed and crafted official merchandise in public people are going to know you’re the coolest cat in Coolsville. Population: one. You. The aforementioned coolest cat. Plus anyone else who orders this stuff, but you’ll probably never cross paths with them because this stuff is really niche.