Curve Finance

Do you love wealth? Do you love becoming wealthy? Are you really smart, but also have a scintillating personality and movie star good looks to balance it out? Then odds are you’re already a fan of Curve Finance.

Curve gives you carte blanche access to trading a wide range of ERC-20 tokens. You got your DAI, which you’re saving up until you can afford your own personal U.S. Virgin Island. You got your GUSD, which you like to keep handy in case one of your Andalusian racehorses needs cosmetic surgery. And of course you have a big, virtual pile of sUSD – perfect for giving life-altering tips to any bum who’s gracious enough to squeegee the windshield of your Huayra Roadster while you’re sitting in traffic. (Of course, you only take that heap out for a spin whenever your preferred Lykan HyperSport is in the shop. Sometimes, in this life, you have to make compromises.)

Why does a DeFi Übermensch like you prefer Curve, anyway? Because you love their non-custodial approach – no devs to get their greasy fingerprints all over your glittering crypto. You love Curve’s liquidity pool model – no sitting around twiddling your thumbs until a buyer or seller materializes out of the digital æther. You love exercising in a friendly, nonjudgmental environment in the company of other women who can help you keep accountable to your weight loss goals. No wait – we’re thinking of Curves, but we’re not going to change it because our BUSD portfolio just broke $100 million and we’re having Elon and Ashton over to celebrate in the mimosa jacuzzi.

Getting rich on Curve.fi is nice, but brandishing their rainbow Klein bottle logo on a piece of high-quality merchandise is equally rewarding. Now’s your chance to show people how you’re making your bones in crypto!