The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. – Mahatma Gandhi
By Gandhi’s measure, America must be the greatest nation ever to have existed. That is, to say, if you only count our dogs, and possibly also our cats, who we treat like our own children or better. The issue becomes needlessly complicated once you start counting animals who graciously volunteer pieces of their anatomy to the barbecue pit, or the ones who have to test out Tahitian coconut flavored lip gloss for the greater good of humanity.
There are a lot of stupid things you can buy for your dog. One gizmo called “Puppy Tweets” supposedly translates dog yapping into meaningful language. You have to be careful with this device or your dog might get himself canceled. The “Dog-O-Matic Dog Washing Machine” is exactly what you think it is – a doggie torture chamber. We haven’t quite figured out what the “Benji Ventures Poop Tent” is yet, but we have already ordered seven.
But do you know what isn’t stupid to buy for your dog? A bed. A big, fluffy, comfy bed that he can rest his snoozy noodle on after a long day of terrorizing squirrels and mailmen. And this being Libertas Bella, our comfortable and long-lasting dog beds will also let your dog express his political views, which of course are your political views. Your loyal dog would absolutely agree with you if he could comprehend what you think. A creature as guilty as a dog would probably confess to the assassination of Mahatma Gandhi if you grilled him about it for five minutes.
Cats are against the Second Amendment so they get no beds from us.