Women's Apparel

Women's Clothing

“Apparel” is a fancy word for clothing. We get to use it because we are fancy people. Visit the Libertas Bella breakroom and you are bound to find at least one of us eating a candy bar with a knife and fork.

History professors universally agree that the first piece of women’s apparel was the fig leaf, as evidenced by all the paintings of Adam and Eve. It was likely Eve who invented apparel. There are better leaves than fig with which she could have covered up her Eve bits, but after having tried giant hogweed, stinging nettle, and poison ivy she was willing to settle. She went back to Adam to show off this new piece of couture and then got mad at him when he didn’t notice.

The next great advancement in women’s apparel was the Wilma Flintstone style cavewoman dress with one shoulder strap and a jagged hem. Hems had to be jagged back then, as seamstresses were limited to using wisecracking dinosaurs in their delicate line of work.

Women’s apparel stayed pretty much unchanged for the next couple thousand years. Ancient Greek women invented the wine stain, but as they were drinking white wine it really didn’t drastically alter women’s fashion all that much.

In the Middle Ages women all got together and said “You know what would be great? A slimming article of clothing that doubles as a way of destroying our vital organs.” Thus they invented the corset, and in their defense they did look marvelous until they were all eaten by plague rats.

Finally women invented the T-shirt, the sweatshirt, and the hoodie, thus bringing fashion into the modern era. Eons from now history professors will once again unanimously agree that the best women’s apparel of our time was exclusively available on LibertasBella.com.