3D2A: Can't Take It If We Can Make It Long Sleeve
The year is 21XX. The United States government has now confiscated over 27 billion firearms as part of its never-ending War on Freedom – but despite its army of GunGrab-R 9000 Betobots, new guns appear in the hands of Americans every day.
President Hunter Biden IV orders a special investigation into why the government’s mission to make Americans safe by eliminating their ability to defend themselves is failing. The investigation costs $3 trillion (with 90% of the funding going directly to foreign countries that send President Biden IV presents on his birthday, per the 98th Amendment).
The special investigators produce their full report only seven years later, and their findings are devastating: Americans are using 3D printers to make their own guns! A 58,000-page bill is written and signed into law the next day. In addition to giving congresspeople 340 days of paid vacation every year and allocating $200 billion to the construction of a third congressional orgy-torium, the Permanent Freedom From Freedom Act bans the manufacture of all new 3D printers.
This does nothing to solve the problem, because Americans simply use their old 3D printers to print new 3D printers. And those new printers are even better, with the ability to print infinite-capacity magazines and barrels that electromagnetically accelerate bullets to velocities which exceed the speed of light. The government has lost. Freedom has won. Americans have won. Santa Claus defeats President Biden IV by a landslide during the next presidential election and everyone gets a girlfriend.
