Come and Take It AR-15 Hat
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Hello fellow American! I work for the federal government, and I’m here to tell you how deeply we care about you. Sure, the subsidies we dump into agriculture have produced a surfeit of garbage food that turns Americans sick and obese. Sure, we compel people to take medications that have undergone shorter trial periods than most name brand dog food products. Sure, we start aimless wars and send piles of money to foreign countries when we’re already trillions of dollars in debt. And sure – our decrepit infrastructure does result in chemical spills that wouldn’t look out of place in a RoboCop movie.
But all of that is okay, because we’re going to take away your guns. That way you won’t be able to stop us from forcing you to act in your best interests – and by “your” best interests, we mean our best interests. Omnipresent signs of poverty aren’t enough to scare you into compliance. You also need to live in constant fear that our representatives will take you to prison for any reason at any time. That’s the Land of the Free our Founding Fathers dreamt of. Good thing we’re here to finally make it a reality by destroying the Bill of Rights they so thoughtlessly created!
“Come and take it?” What, you mean me? Come and personally take away your weapons? Ha ha! Don’t be silly. Just enthusiastically hand them over and no one (specifically you) has to get hurt.