End the Wars Fanny Pack
“War! Huh! What is it good for? Well, for start, it sorts out who is the strongest out of the two countries. Also, you get to see some amazing explosions. But there is some people out there who not only don't enjoy the war, but they try to spoil the fun for everyone else.”
– Ali G
We know what you’re thinking. What kind of wack a ding hoi would actually be against war? Without war we wouldn’t have amazing inventions such as triremes, gas masks, tanks, nuclear bombs, Agent Orange, or the Sturmgewehr 57 rifle. The best Popeye and Daffy Duck cartoons were both made during wartime!
But America is actually home to several fringe groups who categorically oppose war. The first is the Quakers, of oatmeal fame. The second is hippies, who will do anything from overpricing ice cream to joining the Manson Family, but will only use their draft cards to light crudely rolled joints.
And then you’ve got the libertarians. These loonies believe it is unethical to gas, shoot or explode people even if doing so would help a government solidify power overseas or boost its national economy. They believe war breeds nationalism and authoritarianism, two ideals which are perfectly at odds with individualism. And although the start of a war invariably expands a government’s control over its citizenry, its cessation never seems to shrink it. Funny thing, that.
Do you believe it’s finally time to stop chumming the waters of terrorism and tormenting people abroad with endless wars? Then we’ve got just the shirt in store for a dangerous subversive like you. Our End the Wars T-shirt features Scott Horton, who is the director of The Libertarian Institute and author of Enough Already: Time to End the War on Terrorism, caught in the middle of so pacifistic a rant that he looks like some kind of bedraggled Philadelphian mailroom clerk.
Whether you support The Libertarian Institute, abhor war, or love a certain show about misanthropic barflies, the End the Wars sweatshirt belongs in your clothing arsenal. If you don’t buy this shirt for everyone in your family it’s because you don’t love them.