When Libertas Bella asks you to write about the great Hunter S. Thompson, first you have to get in the right frame of mind.
I would have spent all my money on extremely dangerous drugs, but it wasn’t enough to buy even one modestly dangerous drug. Following a presidential campaign trail was another option, but Trump still won’t return my calls after I beat him by four strokes at Cypress Point Club in 1998, and Biden told me to go **** myself. Finally, I tried to spend a couple years on the road with the Hell’s Angels. Unfortunately, I look like a huge nerd, so they wouldn’t have me along.
All of that research would have been for nothing anyway. Thompson is a legend as much as he was a writer, and his style is inimitable. I will never ride around Vegas in the Red Shark with a 357 in the dash while my Samoan attorney does amyls. I go to Costco in my Jetta with a 38 in my waistband while my Laotian girlfriend tells me about her co-worker’s birthday party. But maybe that’s close enough.
Picking our favorite Thompson quote took a lot of work. The way he described Richard Nixon as a werewolf full of claws and bleeding string-warts was colorful, but it probably wouldn’t look good on a coffee mug. After much in-fighting and someone leaving the room crying, we finally settled on this gem: “In a closed society where everyone is guilty, the only crime is getting caught.” At least that sums up the Libertas Bella corporate tax planning strategy. We also included an illustration of the man himself aiming a revolver the size of the mailbox post at some unfortunate thing.