ZeroHedge Futurewave Tyler Durden Quote Sticker

“On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.”

 

Death. It is the great equalizer, the only true certainty, and the angriest subgenre of heavy metal music. The inevitability of death drives many people to do strange things. Some devote themselves to denying it altogether, and are thus driven to extreme behaviors such as cultism and taking multivitamins. Others use death as an excuse to squander their lives. Why polish the brass on the RMS Titanic when it’s all going down into the chuck anyway?

 

A few particularly enlightened teenage girls base their entire identities around death, donning black fishnet arm sleeves and platform boots and writing truly dreadful poetry for their GeoCities pages or whatever the hell teenage girls publish their dreadful poetry on nowadays.

 

But as a ZeroHedge reader, you are the most enlightened of all. You know that death’s inevitability doesn’t merit apprehension or apathy or smoking cigarettes in the bathroom during study hall. You accept that everything you could possibly hope to achieve during this lifetime will be ground to dust by the perpetually spinning millstone of time – and you get on with it all the same. Because at the end of the day, what else is there to do but grouse about politicians, ponder bearish market predictions, and order neat stuff that will directly support your favorite independent news organization?

 

On second thought, go and join a cult.