Bitcoin Pilled Bottle

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Colorful pills represent nearly every ideology people could espouse nowadays. Some are based. Some are cringe. It’s a tale as old as time.

But you? You are different. You appreciate that you can’t live a fulfilling life without some sort of ideology to underpin it. Yet you also appreciate that self-actualization isn’t achieved on an empty stomach. In less fruity language, you want to get filthy rich. You are officially out of the rat race as soon as you get to the cheddar, after all.

You are Bitcoin Pilled. You identified the world’s future financial reserve asset, and have committed yourself to amassing as much of it as possible.

That’s easier said than done, of course. You find yourself obsessing over graphs more than you would like. You often wish the risk/reward ratio were a little more skewed in your favor. And to make matters worse, you may soon have to start looking out for Senator Elizabeth Warren’s “anti-crypto army,” which would aim its bows and war clubs square at your hard-won investment.

But you interpret the elites’ animosity toward Bitcoin as a good thing. It’s a sign they’re afraid of being foiled. Their mission to own everything is very much fucked so long as a currency outside their control continues existing.

God bless your Bitcoin Pilled heart, and remember: we’re all going to make it, with the exception of those who are cringe.