Conspiracy Theory Mug
Here’s a little hypothetical for you: Suppose you have an uncle named Sam. It’s a plausible scenario so far but bear with us.
Now, Sam is a bit of a character. He has been known to conduct medical experiments on other people here and there. He once wanted to see just how bad the symptoms of syphilis could become, so he located a bunch of farmers who already contracted it and kept an eye on their progress. He didn’t tell these farmers that they had the disease, nor did he inform them when treatment for it became available. As we said, Sam’s a character!
Sam has drugged people with LSD so he could watch their minds unravel through secretly placed two-way mirrors. He has administered powerful electroconvulsive therapy on his test subjects until they could no longer speak, but in Sam’s defense, it was only because he was trying to develop a more effective mind-control technique. And whenever Sam injected people with plutonium or forced them to stand in a mustard gas chamber, it was only for the greater good as well.
And sure, maybe Sam has sold machine guns to criminals so he could see where they wind up, killed thousands of people by intentionally poisoning alcohol, and smuggled a few hundred Nazis into the country.
But here’s what we’re driving at: Just because your Uncle Sam actually did all of these things, you would have to be some kind of wack job conspiracist to believe he’s still up to no good. Just read the news about himself that Uncle Sam sanctions – you’ll see he’s now a real stand-up guy.
