First, we got Curve Finance, and we thought the world couldn’t get any better. Finally, the perfect DEX, and one with a sweet Windows 98 vibe at that. We once used Curve to make over 800 BTC in just seven minutes, and we will tell you how we did it … later.
But then we got something else that is equally good: Convex Finance, where we can deposit our Curve LP tokens to earn Curve trading fees, boosted CRV and CVX tokens. Receiving cvxCRV tokens feels like winning the Olympics and meeting Santa Claus in the same day, because that means we’re doing our favorite thing of all, which is making money.
How do you spend all those fat stacks you make from boosting your Curve staking? Personally, we like lording our wealth over other people. For example, when we go shopping at Walmart and see someone buying the generic knock-off Pop-Tarts, we give them a smug look before showing them a photo of our 12,000 square foot Cape Cod beach house. “This is where we summer,” we say in our WASPiest accent. “Enjoy your frosted chocolate fudge toaster pastries, peasant.” Then we make toward the register with our considerably higher-quality name brand groceries, many of which are organic.
We also enjoy spending our Convex bucks on officially licensed Convex merchandise – just like what you see here. Think of how much better your life’s going to become once you own this fine hoodie.