The First Responder Phone Case

  • $24.95
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“I am the first responder because my only other option is to be the first victim.” - Karl Denniger
Cops have a lot of pieces of high tech gear at their disposal. With their tasers, pepper spray, radios, body cameras, and Dr. Scholl's™ Memory Foam™ shoe inserts, they’re truly a force to be reckoned with.
But do you know which handy gadget our boys in blue aren’t equipped with? Teleporters. That means when some deranged lunatic breaks into your house at three in the morning to help himself to your personal effects and possibly your person, a highly trained team of LEOs isn’t going to materialize there to stop him. They need a phone call and several minutes at best, and even then they may only arrive in time to help you out by outlining your body with chalk.
You’ve got to be your own first responder. That means accepting that you’re responsible for your own safety, keeping your wits about you at all times, and owning and maintaining a device that makes loud bangs.
If you espouse this sensible mentality, you are a prime candidate to wear the First Responder phone case. It features our own take on the classic caduceus, with an agitated snake coiled around a rifle. It’s not exactly what a deranged lunatic would like to catch you wearing while he’s fumbling around your living room in the dead of the night.